Imagine this.

It’s March 13, 2020. I’m home for spring break during my junior year of college, anticipating exams as soon as I get back to my dorm on March 23. Something feels a bit different, though. No previous spring break has echoed “COVID” quietly in the background. As word of the pandemic grows louder on the news and social media, I realize that when I go home for break, I won’t be coming back.

I just wasn’t prepared for what came after.

So many cards have been stacked against me during the global pandemic. I’ve dealt with isolation, depression, anxiety, self-doubt, and just about everything in that field. Of course, it all comes from different places. I’ve been challenged by social issues among friends, family drama, difficulties at work, and probably a few other things I can’t even remember right now. I sometimes wonder how I’ve even been able to deal with so many things at once. On top of it all, my spinal muscular atrophy (SMA) doesn’t let me forget that it is there — especially when I don’t want to remember it.

Get Therapy? Easier Said Than Done

Clearly I need a therapist, but it’s not so simple when I can’t drive and online sessions are impossible because I lack privacy. Besides, the rates of some online sessions are overpriced — just to keep a level head on my shoulders. Some therapists allow online chatting, which addresses the lack of privacy, but it doesn’t quite work with SMA (again, typing isn’t the most enjoyable part of the condition). I’ve had to accept that therapy just isn’t feasible right now.

Finding My Way

I’ve had to find my own way. Everyone has a different situation, but here are a few things that I do to stay afloat amidst a pandemic and a psychological crisis.

Get Distracted

Distractions are friends. Whether it’s a long day of working or hanging out with the people who make you smile, at least you aren’t overthinking! Anything that keeps your brain moving without wandering into the endless pit of darkness is a win, though being constantly busy will result in fatigue. Dealing with exhaustion is another article in itself. Regardless, a distraction can be a victory — just one with minor side effects.

Get Support Where and How You Can

Support is always welcome! If SMA lives in the back of your head like it does mine, you may get offers of support, but you won’t feel like anyone can relate. Not many people you encounter will have SMA, and not a single soul has had all of your experiences. You’re your own person, and it’s impossible for people to truly understand you.

But that doesn’t quite mean you don’t have a support system. Just be smart about how you use the support you’re offered. If you have a hot-headed friend, talk to them when you feel anger. If you have a mellow friend who is good with problem-solving, they may be helpful when you feel anxious. Be smart with your problems and your support resources. No one will completely understand you, but you can put together the pieces that will help you through your issues.

Use Technology To Connect

Technology is a gift of an escape. I’ll save the majority of my thoughts about technology for another time, but I will say this: Some of my favorite people in the entire world live in different countries. I play games with a lot of my online friends, and that often serves as a perfect escape from depression or just a good time in general. There are real people on the other side of that connection with their own stories. Most of them don’t know what SMA is, and personal things may not come up in these relationships for a long time. Honestly, they don’t care. The friendship between you and them can be pure and nonjudgmental. Cherish the friends you meet online, even if you may never meet them in person.

Lean Into That Bad Mood

Believe it or not, acceptance is probably the most important piece of the puzzle. Some days you just won’t feel like working, and maybe your friends are busy. Add on a little drama or anxiety about an approaching deadline, and you can get stuck in a place of negativity. You find yourself with no desire to do anything, and the day is just a bust. That’s OK! Own that low mood. Turn on the saddest playlist you know and sink into feeling that sadness or anger. If you’re on the creative side like me, negative emotions can be powerful tools for writing an amazing song, poem, or a script for a new movie. If you can own your negativity and run with it, it can be the key to a great creation.

These are just a few ways that I keep myself going on a regular basis. I’m definitely jinxing myself, but as long as I stick to these life strategies, I can say: My life is pretty good!

Columnists on mySMAteam discuss SMA from a specific point of view. Columnists' articles don’t reflect the opinions of mySMAteam staff, medical experts, partners, advertisers, or sponsors. Content on mySMAteam isn't intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.