Online gaming may not be interesting to you. You may find the whole concept just plain boring. But for someone living with spinal muscular atrophy (SMA), online gaming could be one of the most important building blocks of their personality.

Growing Up With Games

I was introduced to my first video game at an early age. I was infatuated with the idea of video games and virtual things, but I was oblivious to their impact on what was happening in my life on a bigger scale. Growing up, I found time to play any game system that I could get my hands on after — and sometimes even before — school. I was getting competitive by age 10. At times while playing, I nearly forgot SMA was a factor in my everyday life.

Opening Up Online

Eventually, I stumbled upon the online functions of a PlayStation 3 and found myself making friends with random people. As I entered my teenage years, I noticed that my emotions were becoming amplified — and dealing with them was tough at home; it’s hard to just walk away from problems with SMA.

One night during a fighting-game session with some friends, we found ourselves not even playing anymore. Instead, it was a night of getting to know each other and venting. At that moment, I realized that I’d found my outlet in the world. And although my friends lived vastly different lives, they’d found theirs, too.

Making Use of What You Have

I could say that gaming is a getaway from reality and stress, but it wouldn’t be entirely true. Online gaming with friends around the world is a perfect alternative for zoning out with friends in person, which is hard for me to do, due to physical complications.

Of course, having SMA can still make some games too difficult or fast-paced — but being in tune with your capabilities is the first step towards overcoming challenges. Many games have button-remapping or key-configuration features that make it possible to set up a more comfortable playing experience. On top of that, trying out strange apps or sitting in a funny position could make a small difference that changes the experience entirely.

Finding a Groove

Once I found my groove for playing online games effectively and being the best player I could be, friendship was the new goal. The logic was simple in my mind — if I could keep up with people in-game, I could keep up out-of-game too. Gamers naturally gravitate toward each other through the overall experience of the game and how players carry themselves. Over time, I found myself being less competitive and more social with the people that I played with as I began to see the potential of being connected.

Balancing Two Worlds

I count on my gamer friends when I need a day of relaxation or just time to vent about things happening outside of the gaming world. A major advantage to having a world of people online is that they don’t usually know or interact with the people I know in the real world. Online, I have an open gate to be my most vulnerable self without the fear of the information being used against me. Of course, I don’t just cough up my darkest secrets with people who I don’t truly trust; rather, I wait until we share confidences naturally.

There are a few circumstances where the two worlds can collide, but they are not common. Meeting an internet buddy or even playing a party game are prime examples. Other than those rare circumstances, online friends can’t do anything to impact my personal life. I’ve already met a bunch of my online gaming friends and have no regrets. Honestly, I hope to meet a lot more of the people I know online in real life.

Columnists on mySMAteam discuss SMA from a specific point of view. Columnists' articles don’t reflect the opinions of mySMAteam staff, medical experts, partners, advertisers, or sponsors. Content on mySMAteam isn't intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.