I’m one of the few people in New Jersey to make it through high school and college with spinal muscular atrophy (SMA), and countless people ask me about the experience. Some are particularly interested in the social aspect of the journey — how to develop social skills and overcome social anxiety associated with the condition. I’ll be honest: It’s taken some work. But I hope the lessons I’ve learned along the way can serve as advice for anyone who needs it.

Be Realistic

For starters, real life and the teen experience depicted on TV are not by any means connected. I came to high school as the new kid in town, and it took some major adjusting. People are vastly different, and oftentimes they cling to their own social groups. On top of that, the disability factor makes the situation more problematic because of the small details. How can I make friends in the cafeteria if nobody can hear me? Will anyone whisper the funny joke to the kid in a wheelchair when the teacher isn’t looking? Oh, and don’t forget anxiety. Really, the entire process can be scary.

Start Conversations With the Right People

Start by finding the people with the energy that you want to associate with. If you have interests or hobbies in common with them, odds are that starting conversations will be a lot easier. At that point, the only enemy is anxiety. The thing that pushes me to socialize is remembering that I have absolutely nothing to lose. Whether or not I make friends with a new person usually has no stakes. Right off the bat, if they keep the conversation going or tell a joke, I can tell they're not going to leave me hanging. It is equally important to know when to end the conversation: People are not always in the mood to talk all day, especially if you just met.

Build a Social Media Presence

Social media offers a great medium to show your personality and be a bit more open without dealing with too much anxiety. Casual online social interaction can help build and solidify friendships. As for direct messaging, that’s a different ballgame. Unless the friendship seems strong enough, I don’t recommend it until it happens naturally. There will be group assignments and other random activities that give you a good reason to connect with others.

Speak With Confidence

Confidence is a huge part of the reason that I feel as if I had a successful high school experience. Speaking with strength helps you appear more approachable. Unfortunately, SMA can be intimidating for those unfamiliar with the condition and can create a huge barrier to making new friendships. Making yourself approachable through confidence is a great way to eliminate some of the intimidation. A simple smile and a louder voice goes a long way.

Have an Open Mind

Socializing in college is easier in some ways because most people arrive looking to make friends. Staying up-to-date with entertainment and media helps with conversation starters. Being open-minded and willing to try new music or TV shows can help build a solid foundation for friendships. People are diverse, but the more topics you can discuss, the more chances you’ll have to jump into a conversation with people.

At the end of the day, this advice rolls back to basic human nature. Be confident and insert yourself into conversations to make new friends. SMA isn't an excuse. Good manners and fun, positive energy are the bare bones of building new connections.

Columnists on mySMAteam discuss SMA from a specific point of view. Columnists' articles don’t reflect the opinions of mySMAteam staff, medical experts, partners, advertisers, or sponsors. Content on mySMAteam isn't intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.